My visualization skills improve again, and in doing so, I think my energy work improves. If nothing else, aligning the triple soul falls into this work. The specific energies are different—
The fire from above is the breath of _____, my connection to the greater cosmos and self, the raw force of potentiality (but not quite Storm, I think). (Not that concentrated, refined yet.) But refined isn’t right—primal and physical.)
The energy of thought/perception, this is more what I used to call “Light.”
But the sticky body and its “auric” quality can be tweaked. With the celestial fire, I’ve done chakra work with it. But the auric forces can also be used—for some end.
Also, a sense of my astral/dreaming abode or temple or what have you begins to dawn on me. The sphere I used here begins to inhere and create a grove into reality—but its form is still vague and ill-defined.
* * *
G. warns me that FitE is a version of BABALON, and “_____” is, by extension, her/our Beast. In these regards, I am dealing with ODD potentialities and forms unsettling if alluring. FitE presents temptation and power, so she should not be underestimated. Likewise, the trance/possessory quality of BM may also be evidence in calling her. But she is necessary.
The metaphor is inelegant and inaccurate, but if HS is the Superego, FitE is the Id.
Thorn approaches LEA/BABALON/FitE from the perspective of that which is buried within us, making the force domesticated through the cauldron (this may be a valid approach—Thelema/Crowley troped it as BABALON and built up an edifice of “sacred whore” mythology and sexism—Thorn and Feri adopt what seems a far more pragmatic approach while acknowledging we’re dealing with therapy-level shit here). Thorn also notes that her tools for HS and FitE are atypical for Feri, which does not assign tools to Zenith and Nadir.
Also, Thorn frames FitE, as a Guardian, as an aid in confronting those parts of the psyche.
My rub, it seems, is the TTL element—both the “figure in white” and “the Voice” and the “Place.” I’ve been drawn to this manifestation for a very long time—and while not BABALON in the normal sense, it is more than “just” FitE.
* * *
I focused on meditation and self-reflection tonight, feeling anxious. I called only the core four Guardians, and BM was especially talkative.
We sit, our minds on the shore of a vast psychic sea as waves of ideas and memes and things wash up on us. Our 5D minds intersect with an n-dimensional information and idea plane—but our conscious minds are that, on the n+1-dimensional shores of mental reality.
We may also be the nodes of our own simulations of reality.
* * *
I have been dealing with stress of late and have taken to journaling outside before energy work. I have put off FitE for now in favor of uncoiling body and mind and self-reflection. I have also begun reading Hine’s Condensed Chaos—which makes so much more sense now. It’s very much aesthetics and our intersection with the political and public.
Chaos Shakespeare. Chaos Feri. Nothing is true—all is art and performance and symbol—so everything is permitted.
Most importantly, don’t theorize magic: do magic. Dare. Do. Perform.