I spoke and saw my father today—as I meditated, in the heart, in that time of comparative stillness, he came to me. I cannot think I am here, at this point, merely through happenstance and haphazard choices on my part. I am here to find and to make meaning—aladir, we are—and chance and my Wyrd have brought me to this point. Awakened choice is—and should—be my guide. I have pursued forms of knowledge and wisdom almost unheard of back home.
And so, I am where I have brought myself to. My purpose in this world is to learn about meaning, to find and make it.
And Angus is always nearby, and I am always present—in wholeness, should I choose.
He had my voice, my faerie face—and I travel and travail along KT.
It is good to feel him. He seemed far more distant during my initial roll call.
Otherwise, the reification of thought, of meaning, of self—these are pernicious, cancerous concepts & magicks. The thoughtforms promote this. Hell, ______ & Co. contribute to it even as they write about it or how people resisted it.
But, be strong, be confident & tall, be awake, be proud, be diligent.
That is what I have learned.
And be adaptable.
* * *
Tonight, it was Athene who was best visible, talkative. She is a goddess of craft and skill, the “God of Gladwell” she says. She is far more stylized in appearance than Dad—clad in feathers and a headdress, her narrow spear at hand. But I honor her, so she seems amenable.
The only way to “know” Athene is mentally—aesthetics, intellect, a meeting of minds. She is a virgin goddess, after all.
Meanwhile, there was also Dad’s presence. Athene did not talk long—she helps those who work, and those who remember and invoke her—and I love her after her manner.
* * *
Tonight started off odd in that my usual pentagram/sphere work was hijacked. Rather than the secondary projection on each side, my mind projected futhark runes.
[hagl] north & south->seed of cosmic life & pattern (fire & ice)
[fehu] east & west->power, movement, cosmic fire, Muspelheim
[thorn] zenith->active power, defense, Mjolnir
[tyr] nadir->vault of the heavens held up by column, divine order of Aesir/foundation
I thought perhaps tonight it would be Odin after that, but it was Freya, looking to me like Galadriel. Quieter. Pushing seidr. Talking of love and connection. Cousins that we are. Shining soul of light.
She is a goddess of touches, visions, listening & seeing, & Shining out rather than other forms of action.
Tomorrow, then, will likely be Odin. The wyrms that are wise.
* * *
Ragnarokr is always happening, Odin tells me. That’s the secret. It is always twilight in these worlds. The flames on Yggdrasil are always out there, roaring in the distance, even in the universe’s most idyllic moments. For gods, men, and elves. It’s the nature of existence. Life and death.
He was feeling avuncular tonight, looking like Gandalf with a bad eye—ravens nearby. Spear rather than staff.
He says I’ve done well with the vision WTAW—I should move on to the active, spelling WTAW and other runes. And work more with FitE—who he seems to like, “as idises go.”
The Four seem more present than they had been, as well.
* * *
Lord Anpu graced me with his presence last night. Quiet, standing in the shadow. A friendly gesture, in my opinion. An acknowledgement.
Tonight, I sought meditation. However, SS came forth, telling me about [WTAW]. It is an active WTAW. It is a rushing vortex of clouds—my mind saw something like Neptune’s clouds, or the Vortex. Roiling, shifting ever—chaotic and mostly undirected. But my sense is that this is imagination, my present sense of it at least. My active imagination. Active desire. Conception of self.
“That’s you, _________. Buffeting against yourself rather than against reality or someone else. A billion different directions at once. Turned against yourself. Or, at least, you don’t direct it, so it directs you.”
That’s why it’s active. [WTAW] can be passive. It won’t control you, but [WTAW] will if you don’t. Reining in imagination & turning it towards active, directed ends. But also using it. Not against oneself.
Harmony and calm.
 I’m probably drawing on Edred Thorsson’s Handbook of Rune Magick..