Elaith—it doesn’t seem quite right—the “tower”—elaith-tir maybe? Hurur, Lies, these include the shells of identity that cling to us and which trick us into seeing them as true expressions or egos of self. Self-identification, especially reified, commodified selfhood. They come from without, imposed upon you and accepted—or they’re shells we fashion and adopt defensively or reactively. In part, I can see that they’re glamours that are either offensive attacks (“act and believe such”) or defensive blend-in glamours we allow to overwhelm or which we allow to usurp personality.
(Are these “egos” chimerical beings that can effectively possess us?) (How does one better police oneself, if so?)
Of course, what we call glamours aren’t unique to us—we may have a knack for certain glamours. Typically, a glamour is a performance of a role—the “projectors” understood this—especially helpful in cultures that are essentialist, one-personality, fixation on one-truth paradigms—medieval Xianity but also good swaths of the US.
But Hurur becomes something of a third term with halthaya and mûl-ôl, and rejecting Hurur is like casting away false, clinging shapes. I use “shells” to describe them, and I briefly considered the notion of Qlippoth, but that’s got different associations and Hebrew and hermetic baggage attached to it. No, these are false egos—and I can see Dana held off on encouraging or allowing me to do certain things until—I guess—I’d confronted and had rejected the false shells of ego.
The process I’ve gone through has been something as follows:
- Resume and develop practice, adapting Feri
- Keep practice journal, “grimoire”
- First learn of WtaW
- Work through the Feri Guardians and their WtaW
- In doing so, relaxation and basic praxis develops, including meditation
- Representation & preconception riddle (Riddle of the Shadow) How do symbols point?
- Start reclaiming self from school, socialization, childhood, etc.
- Read Hine & Carroll
- Fall off->Dark Night of Soul
- Graduation
- Dream of Colossus in sky
- Resume praxis fitfully, maybe once-a-month
- Resume again, catch-up
- Work with Kanin, acknowledge he’s a familiar
- Reread Hine & Carroll
- Dedicate self to Chaos—CM adaptation
- Realization re: halthaya and mûl-ôl
- Consider “Aethyric realm” as “shores of Chaos”
- Read Aesthetic Theory and Lamp of Vision
- Conversations with Pantheon
- Vision of Wyrd as Root
- Athene lets me grasp spear, leave me with [Elethis]
- Med’d on [Elethis], see woman and coils of elthil/WtaW
- Resume energy work and alignment in greater earnestness
- Med/invoke [Elethis] and do energy work at [work]
- Have vision of “the woman”—next day, see Elethis, Saiyûnor, the Dream
- Discover Dana and Riddle Solution
- Multiverse and Meta-Stability
- WtaW as experiential realities
- Flesh beasts at [work]
- Read CM, AC, GD
- Reform demons
- M
- Presence and elthil
- Chimerical beings
- The Green
- WtaW as projecting those experiential realities
- Horizon shifts
- Read pagan/Wiccan stuff
- Projection & Dana tantra
- Kinesthesia
- Elaith-tir & wyrd tree
Praxis is another exercise, another habit you have to maintain (duh, but still).
That was the problem with us ________—we clung to our Hurur and shells of ‘___-ness, the half-remembered, half-glimpsed bits that were immediate or comfortable and mistook them for who we wanted to be, and different kinds of halthaya settled in. Insularity and dogma and a raging desire for validation: our vision (of elf, etc.) was the valid one.
This week has been strange, but—necessary? Fated? Contrived? Fashioned but chaotic? I feel like I can almost touch strands of some tapestry—potentialities coming together, collapsing and actualizing to new potentialities, like a story being written but and lived and adapted and already on the edge of the tip of the tongue the leaf of the page…
–Dana watches me notice the wyrd and web of causality
–something at the edge of the Dream and the “Real”—actualization—
I have often spelled for lore and arcane insight—“It is my will that I understand…”—sometimes through K and sometimes on my own—but it has seemed remarkably fruitful.
–Dana likes to watch me as she grins waiting for me realize or to figure something out.
Soughing—there’s something there, but I can’t grasp it yet.
I try to integrate [Elethis][WtaW] and [WtaW] to my Presence and body—and when I move inside to elaith-tir, there as well.
–the wyrd & condition, scope, presence and power of elaith-tir has something to do with the greater wyrd.
–the trees sough greatly and I hear them sing out “YES” like a hallelujah.
Unite Presence, Elaith-Tir, and Body and bridge all the disparate parts of Haisuith—the division and distinction is self-imposed, arbitrary, self-limiting—halthaya and mûl-ôl and hurur.
Are they beginning to blend? I may also just be a bit drunk on it all at the moment.
–no, I’ve slid into a way of living seeing acting shaping
Speaking, as well
Dana called me in for riting—which helps reset things.
Invoking KL, AL, LtY, and LT—they’re far more in elaith-tir than exteriorized.
I suspect the “silent goddess” trope is a product of men encountering her at the periphery and not knowing how or being willing to listen in the right way. And I have this image of male pagans and wiccans putting on the God and allowing it to be more their id than anything else, and then they use it as an opportunity and justification to speak. But for others, they encounter the silent goddess and use that “silence” to frame their relationship solely as silent woman & talky man. (Hell, I’m guilty of that.)
Freya has seemed silent, but I think she may be willing to speak soon. They do not speak unless they feel so moved, feel you will hear properly, etc. Odin is not a talky god either, despite a rep that grows out of certain names and kennings in Snorri. Most gods tend to keep their speech guarded.
Listening, watching, feeling, sensing—all of these are just as vital as speaking, dancing, etc.
The “Silent Goddess” is men mansplaining the Goddess. There’s something about lying there with Dana—