Last night I went to the glade, and Odin was there with the Morrigan, and I thanked him for his help & friendship as Authun. I then ventured with the Morrigan to Elethis to med and listen, Silence with the Tree—I dreamt of some general anxious dreams, thinking about the interview & potential job.
The Otherworlds were close again—I hope they are always close—and K chided me for hard, rigid, spiderweb-like thoughts, reiterating and clanging like poorly strung harp at whatever passes over/against them (okay, that metaphor is mine). I want to soften, flow—more like water than like a person who hopes situations fall into the paths he’s prepared/explored (too computational, not flexible and soft to flow and adapt without trouble).
I forgot my conversation with K about the Otherworlds until I was lying in bed, communing with the Otherworlds, or trying to. But the paths and flows between realms, along the branches of the Tree, these are like channels, and rivers, but rivers of association, shared notions and beliefs, natural processes, souls migrating—the Green, etc. There are times when I feel the paths most attune to me make me think of upstate New York in the woods or I suppose parts of the UK or in Europe. But there are conceptual links, and these conceptual links can have a physical locale that ties intimately to them. However, I imagine there are interstitial worlds—Mittelmärchen—that can be access[ed].
This world’s human population grows increasingly parasitic, and that diverts and constrains and wastes Elthil, and the Hosts promote a kind of blindness but also fear. Blindness to the building entropy but a fear that things are falling apart, that evil and demons will come and scour the world. Material squalor and deprivation keeps people in halthaya even as they despair or seek violence and increase entropy.
Expand and claim space, allow yourself room to feel—do not clench and contract. And relax & breathe.
The esotericists and pagans all encourage a certain degree of identification with the divine, and there is a certain path of divinity that emerges in mysticism. I am called, the Otherworlds call me, or at least, some of them do.
What do we mean by “god”? We are “little gods” or can be, and in doing so, we develop a Presence here that Bridges here and the Otherworlds, but we also align ourselves with our “God Soul.”—
—it’s like I’m forgetting something, and that frustrating & distracts me—
—but what is that “God Soul”: what is it? Where is it? Why are we divorced form it? (incarnation severs the immediate connection). We are pan-dimensional, incarnate & existing across multiple worlds through the realms + time. Is it a matter of uniting those, navigating—maybe as one path. If we have Pure Ones, then okay, those Pure Ones exist in some interstitial Pure Ones realm. Imagine something like a neural pathway or a vascular system that links incarnations or scions of the Pure Ones, which grows and expands as we incarnate across realms. At which point, the purpose of life seems in part to awaken & connect to our godlike and Pure One/pan-dimensional natures—our tree spreads roots and branches—a root system—a Wyrd
The Great Gods, they have been doing this for a long time->
Elethis—all people and worlds—year, the interconnectedness
->and they can manifest in ways that suggest strong paths into this realm & others, and they exist in a similar distributed manner. [But, there’s more—they can adjust scale, how and wehre they direct their whole/greater Presence.]
Does population start making this realm a bit “worm-eaten” and porous? Or do they start seeking stability & “normalcy”? Or do folks start trying to paradigmally geo-engineer for good, ill, entropy, power? The Dark Host tries to do so towards entropy, despair, & the damned. But others—hell, the gods often—some try to but others treat them as, well, “mortals” until the person demonstrates otherwise. [cf. Rogue Priest’s post about desire, fear, and hearing the gods]
I’m—calling myself, in part. But I’m also hearing that which sings to me, resonates with me.
There is that which is more immediately accessible, layers and thresholds of self, divinity, & so on. Like too many gated nodes and so on—
But we also tie ourselves to and internalize other coils of elthil, WtaW, gods, and persons. Experience and life is interconnectedness, incestuousness, and messy if often unfulfilling “sex.”
TOPY talks of “multidimensional individuals” ostensibly in regards to the personalities we have, but the dimensionality is an interesting synchronicity. Discipline becomes for them a means to develop will and lucidity and paths of desire: of being an active agent.
Religion & fear of death to “justify Faith”
“Dogma negates thought. Thought is the enemy of faith.”
Faith preserves Society, so Religion becomes Social control through Dogmatic Hope to escape Fear of death.
Religions of submission
Linguistic and cultural inability to ask “questions that might reveal the truth”
—I keep listening for words & so forth. Dragon tongue is experiential—stop looking for words & language
CMs are too linguistic, logocentric (phallologocentric)
Dragons, though, are godlike but different: they seem naturally Otherworldly, multidimensional, and are in a way WtaW, living conglomerates of experiential realities—gods & “little gods” can grow this way as well, taking those CoE (coils of elthil) & WtaW into ourselves. Remember you can draw on them, those WtaW, into your Presence—you’ve taken [Elethis] and others inside—what I’m sensing may be [Elethis] in a fuller and more complete way. [Elethis] is my path to Elethis, the one Athene gave me.
Integration
—I may also be feeling my own Presence [and Bridge] within the Otherworlds—
The White Mount is an edifice, made as/to be an alternate axis mundi.
Elethis links us all together—the Morrigan and Odin are both connected to Her, and I’ve been doing so, trying to do so myself. It/She is an expression of _____, of the Star Goddess, of the Multiverse that We attune and join with consciously and—lives and realities of our desires, of our wholeness,–of our loves and choices—of our potentials and the paths to actualize them
…and then the TOPY offers ‘90s internet drama dogma about bitter ex-members—“we have docs to back up its (TOPY) version” of events. Way to blow your ethos. Also the atheist streak in CM is really—well—tiresome.
deG offers a candle honor rite—to affirm our accomplishments and a healthy sense of our ego-self—pride with honesty to avoid falling into hurur and false ego/pride (often fetishized through stuff). The Feri God deG dubs “Self-Fire,” and she offers the candle as a way to honor our own self-fire in our Presence & self-possession (to translate some via Thorn & others).
Orange candle, let it burn down in time, but, y’know, safely
The elite always want to value themselves higher than others, and they hate the “lower orders” feeling proud—or—well—at all important. Pride and ego become sins reserved for “God” and reps and proxies. Self-possession & self-pride are subversive.
deG suggests letting worries fall away and settle into the earth so the Star Goddess/Mother can take care of them. I prefer Thorn’s framing of this: imagining them as stones you drop into our still waters. The metaphor is much the same, but Thorn’s emphasizes our agency as part of the SG—and our still waters become our connection to Her.
Odin wants something, to say something, do something
Crow on the way to work—caw caw, caw caw
Elethis as spawner/mother of new realms & realities—just like the SG giving birth
I think I’m getting used to feeling the Otherworlds, but there’s also still a call, or I’m feeling it more than I already had. I may also be looking at a new progression I wasn’t expecting but has its benefits.
There seems to be a rubric of stuff that people have tried to lump together as “love” while classifying that “love” as not love but as some materialist, behavioralist, and evolutionary psychology BS to where it’s selfish neurochemistry—and while that may be how many people may wind up living in un-self-reflective lives, too much is tied up in procreative and self-pleasure and commodified social relationships. I get the sense that a lot of this (it is) is used to justify tribalism, racism, sexism, consumerism, patriarchy & “traditional” “family” structures, gender & sexuality, etc., hierarchical social structures that already exist. Compassion & compassio, empathy, and so forth are ignored for sex, body, and appetite. And if you tell people that’s how people work, then they start thinking in those terms that commodify people & human relationships and those systemic forms of subjection & self-subjection spread and reproduce in people’s minds.
What I feel is, in part, a semi-threatening connectedness to the Otherworlds, what is an intimacy with Worlds I’ve closed myself off from. That intimacy includes myself, my Presence, M, etc. It includes the Otherworlds and this realm, and I’m not used to that. It feels overwhelming but giddy and strange. Immersiveness and potential and—hell, feeling something other than myself. Silence and stillness—
–think about how you felt when Jehanna touched or kissed you.
During exercise, I felt spasms of crying and laughter and muscle spasm seizures that are like those I’ve had during rite days, and I think those are coming from body/kinesthetic tenseness and tightness (muscles) and emotional constriction and the bleed over of both. I don’t feel sad, and the giddiness is cool with me, but I’d rather have less constriction, better openness & physical/emotional freedom.
Breathing, aligning, stretching, Presence—all of these things help. And I had a flash with the Otherworlds & Morrigan and myself in Presence with shadowed gaze. The gaze is an active sight & perception of the worlds, and it focuses me on my Presence, will, and the Otherworlds and out of halthaya, hurur, and mûl-ôl. What deG calls “purification” Thorn and Morph term as part of practice and med’n. (Both Thorn & deG studied under Victor Anderson, so the Feri component is there, but deG reframes it in very “Wiccan” terms where Thorn was drawn to other influences that are probably, are, closer to mine.) Lying on the floor between reps of pushups, I also had a flash of myself Bridging into the Otherworlds.
Soften. Silence. Stillness. Then back into Know, Will, Dare—
Bright clouds shining down and through
Breathing across the sky left to right
Like countries in some other world
We cannot visit, can only gaze at in foreign wonder
I feel them like crinkles in my mind, distant
Cerebellum folds spread across the blue
Thoughts passing into awareness and out again
Ephemeral to me but mayfly-like in the skies
I try not to find shapes, just pause, breathe,
Soften my edges like the cumulous forms reshaping
Themselves above me with wind and sun and—