It’s a beautiful day—a breeze, sun and clouds, mild here in the shade. I find myself craning my neck high to see the boughs of Elethis.
And sometimes the Otherworlds are close, and I can feel them and the—“Otherworldly power,” the closeness, the sense of my and the potentiality in the Otherworlds, the beliefs and confidence and magic I want—the power and confidence of mind, body, and spirit—and I wonder where this went to, where I hid or forgot it—poverty, work schedules, demeaning work, monomania and work/academic obsession (the thoughts and egos/hurur of work)—but [uni] and more sapped me, but so has halthaya and other forces, not counting the ministrations of the flesh beasts.
There are—I want something better than “Otherworldly power”—there is elthil, but there’s something more. I would have called it “dramesis” once, but—it includes a sense of self-possessed fatedness, self-fatedness, self-authorship in a collaborative context and world.
Balan? No, not quite right.
Light and power and vision, kenning and acting and speaking—
Vala, calad
The clouds rise as columns up towards the heavens, and Elethis towers over us, and the stars and constellations beyond.
Ôl-Valai – dream powers
Ôl-Vala – dream power
I think there’s a paradigmal power involved—but that’s true for us, and well—as our own self-paradigm, the paradigm of self, determines how we see and conperceive and imagine our potentialities. But Otherworldly power works best when many believe in its manifestation—group religions ritual is one way, but I don’t want to overstate some things. Many mystics directing belief and ôl-vala do so with positive feedback and reinforcement from fellow believers, but lone mages and […] can do so just by fucking doing the magic and believing they can do it.
[sketch of the Tree]
[lucid] [Elethis] [Corunor]
Ôl-Vala [FitE/Ôl-Vala]
Although I can move to my tower easily [WtaW] going outside into the Dark Wood is difficult—hard to see. At least without walking there. The ground floor has a study with a desk and books I haven’t really examined yet, and there’s a narrow square stone stair up to the bedroom—with a flat bed against the wall. There is more, but presently the place feels very cramped and claustrophobic.
[FitE/Ôl-Vala] Ôl-Vala(?)
I should start reading Adorno’s essays in The Culture Industry, and he remains interesting and useful in terms of magic, halthaya, hurur, mûl-ôl, resistance, imagination, sovereignty, and self-possession, etc. He hedges on action and praxis in favor of thought and reflection, but Softening and Silence and Knowing are Adorno’s talents.
Giordano Bruno of the Renaissance caught my attention, though he is a transcendental Platonist, but I suspect there are things to adapt in his work.
I have been too passive in my visualizations—I want to see and to image vividly and clearly.