Samhain, Wholeness, Truth

I rited last night for Samhain. Lots of anxiety about [work], pay checks, and more. This hindered me last night—along with ________’s scheming. It’s cold this morning, so I am indoors—and not getting my usual outdoor morning chill-time on a Saturday.

Nonetheless, WM asked me what I saw in the waters, and I saw the sky reflected therein. If I am the waters, then I also reflect the skies—and that beautiful, inchoate thought hit me. My wholeness encompasses my interconnections and influences, encompasses my pride and truth—

—it’s not “truth,” I think. Not quite, Sh.F. says. It’s sincerity, reality, commitment to the words and actions we enact, perform.

But that and other self-explorations led me to better realize I remain my own worst enemy, and my self-conception is most often what—well—hurts me. Striding around with a full stomach, shades, some beer, and a trenchcoat felt—gloriously liberating.

I honored and remembered and thanked my departed grandparents, but in my mind, most of them weren’t too attentive. I felt more in remembering my own past selves, and in the summer world passing beyond into winter.

The connection between LW, MW, and HW, between land, sea, sky, and the ways that trees bridge all the worlds made me recognize my own tree-ness, my faerie nature, and the Celtic tree associations I’ve been feeling for a while.

Imagine myself how I want to become—visually, existentially, experientially. Sensually. I want to mirror Elethis into my heart—into my “soul space” with the Wyrd Tree—

Bild: eine Gewitterfront vor Pritzerbe von Leviathan1983

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