I started to go into the Dark Wood, which seems brighter and closer now, last night, but I headed towards the cave to TTL. The path to TTL seems to begin on a plain and meadow with some sparse, young trees—grassy fields and maybe scrub—until you start passing larger trees and mounds and small hills. Then, you may see a ruined farmstead, and after a point, you may see the hill and the overgrown cave entrance, choked with vine and leaves. This itself is a barrier and the first challenge, and I have just allowed the growth to become a rabbit hole down and inside, emptying me into the cavern. However, if you can part the growth—whispering to them or whispering part of the poem may work for that—that may reveal a cave path to walk. I have not done so yet, and last night I fell asleep while heading to the cave. There are paths to the Dark Wood and to the—Foothills—from the glade.
TTL itself,—I usually alight on to one of the towers, dark gray, circular, with an unrailed walkway around and a doorway and windows. I have not walked inside, but looked out over the city-cavern. I will usually then descend by wing to a market square of bricked ground and the purple vine, but no one is there, but I haven’t explored much, and the scene is vague still. So I look and try to immerse myself in the vision.
I think tonight I shall rite and head to TTL, to see it better and to learn more—and call FitE as the local guide.
The GD initiation ceremonies are guided attempts at ordering the SoS and connecting the paths to the macro.
Hermeticism and the GD paradigms attempt to reframe the sexuality and pan-gendered aspect of the multiverse—its procreative aspect in Feri—into abstraction and male geometric reasoning. It is the myth of Zeus birthing Athene as thought, male self-generation without the feminine, rather than _____/SG splitting into Her and the God and down the line. The GD eliminates the feminine and sex. However, She lurks at the fringes, the repressed threatening to erupt in the apocalyptic BABALON—which the Thelemics intuited and then had to cobble a path to—a tortuous path of weird repressed sexuality and BDSM. But the GD’s abstraction mean they saw abstraction as the end—transcendence and Platonist […]. It’s a magical path of the Father and Male Isolate Self-Importance that removes them from the system and thus significance. Typical GD style takes the feminine—Binah—and she descend into the “Fall” and matter, etc.
The GD view of the soul, at least in some readings of it, seeks to smooth over ego defects via repeated uses of the LBRP, which really means the issues are hidden under the act of ritual and the channel. The SoS is treated as a literal mirror and sphere, which is where the ToL as projected onto a sphere comes into play. However, it is also very transcendental, as noted, and it does deploy the Luin (I believe) as the “light” poured into things to empower them and into the self. The LBRP “purifies” the soul while the MP energizes the soul even as the elementals and planets are used to attune and align the SoS to the macro world while using them as symbolical systems for using the world and humanity.
I feel weird tonight—I’m not entirely sure what it is, but in part, it’s like I’ve a seed in my soul/spirit that is turning and shifting—
—supposedly the HGA calls to people throughout their lives, but it was the Morrigan and Dana calling to me—
Okay, I’m also scrolling through random psychedelic art, and I feel—I’m not sure how I feel.
I feel very close to something, but that may just be this moment as my—as I change in this moment. Or something will happen.
I change. I change myself. I embrace my changes, for I do them. To make myself, I do them. I transform. I take flesh and thought and spirit and faentaur, and I turn them in my will until I change as I wish. I see the Otherworlds, and I walk them. I reach into this world and others, and I change them.
I make light and flame. I make doors and paths. I make potentials and actualize them.
 Yes, yes, yes, I don’t understanding hermetic and Thelemic mysteries about women, yes, yes, yes, union of godheads Binah and Tree of Life things into limitless light, abstract abstract abstract.
 Also, yes, I was reading about the GD, souls, BABALON, etc. this particular night.