She Continues
deG’s notes on the dark heart remind me of my anger issues and lets me remember I want to express my anger far more assertively and calmly (rage is not the answer—rage is me not expressing my feelings to the point that they explode. And I was taught never to express feelings others might find […] … Continue reading…Anger, Anxiety, Mirrors
I think my source of anxiety I noted yesterday but forgot is professionalism and social— I think [on] self-shaping and self-imagining and godhood. I remember Promethea and the latest Promethea’s self-tapping of that force, that narrative via her research and imagining, I think, herself as Promethea. I continue to read The Invisibles, and I see […] … Continue reading…Self-Shaping, Promethea, The Invisibles
I rited last night for Samhain. Lots of anxiety about [work], pay checks, and more. This hindered me last night—along with ________’s scheming. It’s cold this morning, so I am indoors—and not getting my usual outdoor morning chill-time on a Saturday. Nonetheless, WM asked me what I saw in the waters, and I saw the […] … Continue reading…Samhain, Wholeness, Truth
Bruno talks of the “subject” or “locus”—the domain of the Memory Palace, where you assemble it in the mind or Otherworlds. This locus becomes one’s astral temple—but I think the variable valences of “memory” that Bruno points towards are very pertinent. (I would feel very lost without my recent grounding in GD, c.m., CM, aesthetic […] … Continue reading…Bruno, Light, Passion
I dreamt last night I went to [my parents’] house, had made some food for myself and for dad, and then wandered through a door into [a previous house we lived in]—finding a crowded landscape: my “room” there with furniture, stereo equipment, and toys and books, much of it junk, but just so cluttered that […] … Continue reading…Dream, Memory, Reflection
It has been almost two months.[1] I hurt my shoulder and hit a lull in the stress that shifted into various panics about health and finances. Halthaya is a fucking horrid thing, that drags you back and down into the malaise. I’m really feeling that old, tiring, tired anxiety. Loneliness has also weighed against me. […] … Continue reading…Long Dark Couple of Months of the Soul