She Continues
I—last night was odd, but today was also strange. I felt—I feel that the Otherworlds are closer than ever before, that I am more immersed in them, but also to the near world, into Haisuith. I aligned in my new way, interiorizing it, and I’m still adapting. It feels like I’ve reached some new level, […] … Continue reading…TTL, Dream, Guidance
I started to go into the Dark Wood, which seems brighter and closer now, last night, but I headed towards the cave to TTL. The path to TTL seems to begin on a plain and meadow with some sparse, young trees—grassy fields and maybe scrub—until you start passing larger trees and mounds and small hills. […] … Continue reading…TTL, Golden Dawn Initiation and Soul Work
I saw the wind blow oak leaves from trees like a shower of gold in to the autumn sunlight, and I felt panic for the trees, losing so much so fast—I felt sadness that soon the trees would be bare—no soughing, only the wind against my ears—and wonder at the sight of the rain that […] … Continue reading…Old Poetries, Faerie, Finds
The skies are where I want to rise to, to climb Elethis into the skies. But the land also calls to me,—I want to explore them both, touch and hug the tress, soar through the clouds, walk the land to the sea—and I would even touch the waters, drink and swim. Hmm. I still feel […] … Continue reading…Align, Materialize, Sex, Shape
I dreamt of Doctor Who and computers last night. I think I had glimpsed last night’s revelations on noticing how free and magical I felt in admitting to myself—, in calling down the blue rainbow light, the faentaur, in letting myself change and immerse myself in it and the Otherworlds and ôl-vala, in wanting and […] … Continue reading…Practice, Goddess Being, Art & Magic
I dreamt last night of the warrens—I had gone into them with K for a bit to—feel them out. They were vague and hard to see, but I tried to look into where I had dreamed the night before, and I was aware vaguely of others being present—otherwise, I ventured back above and into the […] … Continue reading…Warrens, Hurur, Trance
I spent the day [working], and it was cold this morning, so I did not do my usual morning journaling, but I am outside now at night, and it is quiet. The moon is out and waxing and bright, and I feel especially—“me,” myself, C-L L-C now. Elethis is clear to me, and I can […] … Continue reading…Warrens & Dreams
I rited last night for Samhain. Lots of anxiety about [work], pay checks, and more. This hindered me last night—along with ________’s scheming. It’s cold this morning, so I am indoors—and not getting my usual outdoor morning chill-time on a Saturday. Nonetheless, WM asked me what I saw in the waters, and I saw the […] … Continue reading…Samhain, Wholeness, Truth
The trees are singing. I realized this as I moved past the little group of trees at the park, the ones inside the path on the south side,—but they are singing in the wind, singing a beautiful, bittersweet song of autumn and the falling and turning of leaves, the coming of winter and sleep,—and I […] … Continue reading…Tree Song, Seasons, Buoyancy
I had the impression that Freya went inside me, pushed and pulled my bodies— —and I have felt what my anxiety feels like after it’s been blunted, and I do not like it AT ALL. The physiological aspect/component feels like—feels corrosive, like hate did. Is anxiety a form of self-hatred? Hating yourself for doing what […] … Continue reading…Shadows, Cosms, the Lower Worlds