She Continues
I felt trepidation about Black Mother the first time I called to her, and I felt more trepidation about Fire in the Earth. In hindsight, this trepidation came out of Talker/Dariar and my unconscious resistance to the kinds of transformation Fire in the Earth can cause, will likely cause. I have to admit that T […] … Continue reading…The Guardians: Part Five: Fire in the Earth, Center, and Closing Thoughts
My experience of Black Mother has tended to knock me down, pull me down, feel overwhelming. Calling Black Mother also triggered one of my first possessory trances, though I feel these trances have mostly been light ones. In appearance, Black Mother resembled a very attractive woman, an actress who caught my attention a while back, but Black […] … Continue reading…The Guardians: Part Four: Black Mother and Heaven Shiner
My early experiences with the Guardians proceeded in stages. I began by calling Star Seeker/Star Finder, and I called him alone at first. The following represents my present, typical call to Star Seeker, with notes. Facing East, ahem, East-ish.[1] I invoke by the Wyrms that Are Wise. Here, I generally trace and traject/project the two […] … Continue reading…The Guardians: Part Two: Star Seeker
This post begins a series on the Guardians, and this post serves as my overly broad introduction on that topic. My knowledge of the Feri Guardians comes primarily via T. Thorn Coyle, but with some inflection from other sources. I have learned that many Feri initiates considered the Guardians initiatory knowledge, lore only to be shared […] … Continue reading…The Guardians: Part One
Sometimes, aligning works. Othertimes, I feel like I’m pushing against blocks or aren’t connecting. This morning—and I’ve been far better about daily practice than I had a while back—I aligned, and I felt meh about it. I then recalled I wanted to send Y out on business. I began an act of power, and in […] … Continue reading…Practice, The Flow, Trance
On my walk today, I reflected and aligned and chatted with Y. The previous night, I dreamt—no, as I tranced into the Dark Wood, as I moved along the path, I had a sense of the enchantment process. We often draw down elthil into objects for various ends, and as I moved, I had a […] … Continue reading…Anger, Paths, Breathing
I—last night was odd, but today was also strange. I felt—I feel that the Otherworlds are closer than ever before, that I am more immersed in them, but also to the near world, into Haisuith. I aligned in my new way, interiorizing it, and I’m still adapting. It feels like I’ve reached some new level, […] … Continue reading…TTL, Dream, Guidance
I dreamt last night of split souls and doppelgangers—a Carol Danvers analogue going after the actress that plays her (who was Uma Thurman) in a comic book, and a kind of nano-tech/fiber Ultron spreading into people and growing schizophrenic. I suppose I think of it in terms of the second attention being seen as a […] … Continue reading…Split Attentions, Sex, Guides
I rited tonight, and I always underestimate the Guardians until I’m talking to them. BM always leaves me prone because I connect back to her and to the greater realities, but also I reconnect to myself. I disconnect during my day, pull away from the world and, in doing so, I pull away from and […] … Continue reading…The Guardians, Presence, Self-Love
I rited last night. Primarily, I wanted to recenter and work on bridging. SS told me that the paths were important and that I should focus on understanding them. ShF and I spoke of the physical component of Presence, and I told him how I’d started to grow more conscious of it at [work]. It […] … Continue reading…Paths, The Shores, Practice Notes