I briefly meditated last night before bed, up a bit late, and I had been reading Brave Sparrow and Teen Witch again, and I had looked at the author’s talk to a queer RPG group/con on using gaming to seek/create new narratives outside the normative to shape ourselves with. I disagree with her [ideas on] representation vs. being, performing vs. being—I consider my own performance even as she talked about role-playing.
I have felt shifts going on, and I embrace these changes—ahyaluvan—and I went into trance last night. I made my way to Ae in a dark night in the ___, and I had spring water, wine, chicken, and we went to her chambers and slept, made love, and cuddled. K assured me it was safe to do so there. Love and sustenance caused flashes of further clarity in the scene—but—
I want to stand and be tall.
I found myself in the Shores, pulling in faentaur, lying in the water, exulting in my wings. I feel distracted and anxious tonight, though.