She Continues
I’ve been dreading, and dreading just stresses me. To be calm isn’t even difficult—but you have to—engage the world, touch it. Touch and corporeality, inhabiting the landscape and environment. I guess I had this easier in an outdoor environment, away from monitors. Kinesthesia helps ground one and have a Presence. Stress and anxiety forces me […] … Continue reading…Faerie Trance, Self-Possession, Stress Possession
She is Morrigan and Dana and even has been the Dragon of ________— She feeds me fruits—she envelopes me and dwells within— Evoking [Elethis] in Saiyûnor and here sometimes feels like I’m already “inside” them and it’s harder to do so (or easy enough I think it should be harder) Part of me worries about […] … Continue reading…Sanity & Magic
Dana’s names are many, and she reappears in the myths by many names and forms: Morrigan, Macha, Danu, Badb, Anu, Dôn, etc. The rivers, waters, woods, hills, mounts, from Asia (and Africa) to here. She is like Odin in a [“I can be a hungry dragon when I choose”] Way with her names, her children […] … Continue reading…Dana, The Morrigan, Defixiones
Am I worried about being outed? I’ve told _____ and ___, but I suspect they treat the disclosure as a drunken fancy and possibly a veiled joke on my part. That is, not something to take seriously. But I think I want people to think of me as fey—I’d rather I wasn’t discovered, but I’d […] … Continue reading…Identity, Community, Otherworlds
I didn’t take passionflower yesterday, and I feel like it showed as the day progressed at work. After a point, I had a hard time channeling elthil, and trying felt like, crudely, sucking on an empty straw. I was tense and not wanting to be there—more so than usual. After I got out, I managed […] … Continue reading…Stress, Interiority, Symbols
MW has been reading and having the odd apple he finds. The “web of fate” metaphor is one that’s common, and AL had bought into that (we had) in the past, but as I walked with K, the idea of roots and limbs of the wyrd—the soughing is a song of the wyrd (whatever that […] … Continue reading…The Web of Fate as Metaphor
Elaith—it doesn’t seem quite right—the “tower”—elaith-tir maybe? Hurur, Lies, these include the shells of identity that cling to us and which trick us into seeing them as true expressions or egos of self. Self-identification, especially reified, commodified selfhood. They come from without, imposed upon you and accepted—or they’re shells we fashion and adopt defensively or […] … Continue reading…Hurur, Charting a Path, and Considering Silent Goddesses
I feel more connected to the Dream today, which is good. There are also clouds. I have flashes of clearer experiences of the Dream, of Dana, and so forth. As I called the Guardians today, HS breathed starfire and did something and brought stars to the inner plane—this and the sense of those stars, the […] … Continue reading…Rejecting the Mortal Dream
Things, people, and ideas have the power over you that you give them. Halthaya, your parents, paternostery, etc. I had this elemental emotional realization while shaving yesterday, but it’s probably one most folks don’t have. I’m kind of the “parent” for MW, VU, and JW as the chimerae they are, and that parenthood, in all […] … Continue reading…The Desert of the Self
One practice to work on is the dropping away of pointless or needless concerns—annoying people and situations, self-destructive feelings, frets, etc. Is part of the halthaya and push-back against magic sometimes, at least, a problem of going too long and too deep into the Dream and failing to negotiate the—not divide but thresholds—part of my […] … Continue reading…Shaping & Halthaya